ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
