maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
