I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
