Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
