Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
