Rock
Scissors
Fuck
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
