Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
