Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
