I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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