Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
