3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize