Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
