I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
