In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
