I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's rum buckets o'clock
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
