Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The air was thick with penises
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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