His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
