Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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