I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
