He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
