I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can you bring me the toilet please
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
