He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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