thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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