"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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