Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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