flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
