New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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