Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
