does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
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My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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