Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
