I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize