so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Sponge bath it is.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
