his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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