I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
