He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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