i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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