Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
