Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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