Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
