Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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