maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
