I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
