i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
