Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
