She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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