she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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