I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
