Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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