bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
