I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
