Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
