Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
