Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
