My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
